when your world turns gray...

I found these pretty awesome quotes in my process of stumbling. Out of everything I stumbled upon these really helped me feel better about my struggles right now.

I don't know how stumble knew that I needed these but I'm glad I found them. Each one of them seems to talk about something going on in my life right now and I just had to share this. I hope these can give you the hope that they gave me. =)

when the going gets tough, the tough gets going....

I don't know if other people out there are having the same issue I am, but coming home from college for the summer is probably one of the toughest things I have ever done. I mean I've done some pretty tough stuff physically and on a learning stand point, but being away at college for 9 months and then coming home for more than a week or two is a major culture shock.

Being at college we get to figure out who we are and what we want to do. We get to screw up and make bad choices. We get to make friends that will last forever and make memories that will last even longer. You get to go out and stay out as late as you want and not have to worry about whether or not your parents will let you go. You get to learn how to manage your time and money, after many different meltdowns. No one is there to make sure your laundry is done for you or whether or not you do your homework at a certain time.

Then coming home you have to throw back in the whole parental unit. Their house, their rules. But does living under their roof give them the right to still treat you like you're 12? To talk down to you, guilt trip you, invade your privacy, tell you when and where to be, demand respect from you but do not give it themselves, not listen to what you have to say, and just over all be so obsessed with when you leave again to not really take the time you are there and enjoy it?

My summer has had it's good times, but the one thing that's really bogged me down is the situation with my dad and step mom. I feel horrible because I have three younger siblings thrown into the middle of everything. And after the shit has hit the fan and you think think things are going to start to get better, it all comes crashing down again. Things are twisted around and manipulated. Make you the bad guy. That's when you realize nothing's changed. Nothing's going to change. And when you hit that point then what do you do? What is next?

Why are things so complicated?

All [we] can do is hope, pray, have faith, and find the strength to make it through everything.

my sincere apologies...

I know I haven't blogged in a while but things have been sort of in a whirl wind of a mess. It ranges from personal life to family life and I haven't been able to really find a break anywhere. Soon I will blog and it will be something of meaning and not an apology for not writing in a while.